This morning like so many, Ladybug came into watch my get ready for the day. She perched on her stool and carefully watched me put on make-up. I smiled looking at her intent little face and trying to take in all of her sweetness. It was a blissful moment. And then it happened. In her shy voice she asked for some make-up too. Sighing a little I answered with the normal, "No you are still too little. You only get to on special occasions." Her next comment brought tears to my eyes.
"But Mommy, how will I be pretty then?" My mama heart shuddered and dropped a little. How did we get here? Where did I take the wrong turn in teaching her "pretty" doesn't come from a bottle or outfit? How do I explain this to her? I have always strived to be honest with my girls. I have worked hard to help them see the beauty in everyone and to remember that "pretty" isn't manufactured.
I knew that telling her "makup doesnt make you pretty wouldn't work." Her mind is much too quick for that. So instead I propped her on the sink and snuggled her close. Then looking in the mirror at our faces, I whispered, "Do you see that beautiful little princess? She doesn't need make-up or pretty dress to be pretty. She has this special glow about her that illuminates her. It attracts people and embraces people. You, little Ladybug, are far too pretty for make-up. It would almost be a shame to cover up your pretty with make-up."
She smiled at this and snuggled closer. We talked about what pretty really is and how each person is pretty in their own way. She then (as expected) asked why I wear make-up. So, I tried to give her a simple answer. When you get older, not everyone will remember to see the pretty all the time so, sometimes I wear make-up to make my pretty stand out a little more. She seemed happy with this and after a kiss and hug she went off to get dressed for school.
I know that as the girls get older, they will have their own struggles with "pretty." Sometimes, hubbins or myself will be there to help guide them in a positive direction, to reinforce what "pretty" really is. I also know that we wont always be there and how important it is to give them a solid foundation to stand upon when that happens. My girls are tutu wearing, blinged out princesses and that is wonderful! They love cars and zombies , which is wonderful too. And boy are they PRETTY!
I have slowly begun to write more honestly here. I have always loved writing; for as long as I can remember the written word has held this magical power. So, where along the becoming a mommy, and wife road I forgot about how freeing writing can be. When I was younger I wanted to write about fairy tales and fantasy lands. I wanted to tell a story about epic love and terrifying adventures. I wanted the next best seller The book people wanted to make into a movie. Now that I am older and perhaps a little wiser, I want to write a story that matters. About characters that handle life's struggles and come out the hero. About struggling as a mommy. How the first few months of being a mommy were the hardest parts of my life, of how my heart is equally filled with joy and sorrow at each birthday, and about the things I have learned and discovered along the way. I, no longer have the need to be published (though it would still be AWESOME) but I want to tell my story, our story. I want to give into my thoughts and ramblings. I want to remember that what I have to say no matter how long or short it may be is valid. Most of all, I want to write about truth both good and bad. To start with I didn't to get too deep with this blog; I wanted to focus on the happy and sorrow free moments of our lives. Life isn't like that though. We all struggle and what comes from those struggles are more beautiful than the sugar coat goodness (not to discount those sugar coated moments though). I hope that the people who read my blog (if you do) leave comments. I want to hear your thoughts, opinions and stories too.