You don't understand how completely your life changes when you become a mom. It's not something that can be described or understood, unless you have already felt the shift. There's a unique kind of magic in those first moments when you look into the eyes of your child. The old you fades a way, no, it morphes into a new beautifully wonderfully magical you. I suppose the best and easiest way to describe it would be like a caterpillar finally becoming a butterfly. Through out the pregnancy your soul and heart begin to grow and stretch. They begin to become stronger, braver, and bigger. As if preparing themselves for the pure love and magic that awaits. For the moment you become a Mom.
I look back on the pre-mommy years of my life. The crazy silly things I did or thought. It seems as though, I am looking at another person some days. Not in a sad wistful way though. No, there is still apart of me ready to do crazy silly things. It's a matter of those silly things I crave have changed. Instead of needing to go bar hopping every night, I want to take the girls on adventures and see new things. I no longer feel the need to surround myself with people who are only half loyal or half there. Instead, I focus on the true friendships I have developed and begin to look for friendships that are long lasting. I don't hold grudges but forgive easier. Because life is too short and precious. I want my daughters to learn from a better me so that they grow into young women to be proud off.
Being a mommy is my first priority. Being a mommy and wife are the titles I strive to make stronger and keep. So, I make choice so that I can provide better in those roles. At the end of the day, when our kids are grow, I will regret not making the decision to stay home more, to be a big part of their little lives. I will regret time not spent with them or having to miss those mile stones.
Yes, I have changed a great deal in becoming a mommy and even almost five years later, I continue to grow and stretch. I will forever be morphing into a butterfly.